Happy New Year.

So... 2006 is about to lay to rest.

Let's hope 2007 is a little less "interesting", in the Chinese sense.

"Tragedy today, as former President Gerald Ford was eaten by wolves. He was delicious."

God rest Gerald Ford's soul. He really was a good guy, one of the last Presidents I can say that about with some confidence.

But please allow me some levity, because I can't read this story without thinking about Dana Carvey's sketch from about 10 years ago where he played a soon-to-vacation Tom Brokaw recording news spots. Gerry was a good sport; he would have appreciated this.

Tom Brokaw: Okay, who are we up to?

Voice of Producer: Uh.. we're still on Presidents. Gerald Ford.

Tom Brokaw: Gerald Ford? Well, he's in good shape...

Voice of Producer: Just covering our bases, Tom. You never know...

Tom Brokaw: Alright, alright.. [graphic of Gerald Ford, "1913-1996" appears over Tom's left shoulder] "Gerald Ford dead today at the age of 83."

Voice of Producer: Okay, good. Annd, one for next year.

Tom Brokaw: Alright.. [graphic of Gerald Ford, "1913-1997"] "Gerald Ford dead today, at age 84."

Voice of Producer: Uh.. a little sadder.

Tom Brokaw: Alright. [sad] "Gerald Ford dead today.. at age 84.."

Voice of Producer: That was good. Good.

Tom Brokaw: Okay, what now?

Voice of Producer: Now let's do one for if he's shot.

Tom Brokaw: Well, what are the chances of that?

Voice of Producer: We're just covering contingencies.

Tom Brokaw: I mean, it just seems that Gerald Ford..

Voice of Producer: Look - you're the one who wants to spend the whole winter in Barbados, okay? Now, we gotta be ready with something, just in case. Alright, Tom?

Tom Brokaw: Alright, alright.. [graphic of Gerald Ford, "1913-1996"] "Gerald Ford shot dead today, at age 83."

Voice of Producer: Uh.. add the word "senseless".

Tom Brokaw: Alright. "Gerald Ford shot dead today, at the senseless age of 83."

Voice of Producer: Um.. uh..

Tom Brokaw: Alright, alright.. "Gerald Ford shot senselessly dead, at the age of 83."

Voice of Producer: Good, good.. Okay, now suicide.

Tom Brokaw: What?!

Voice of Producer: Just read it!

Tom Brokaw: Alright. "Gerald Ford dead today, after jumping out of an office building, senselessly."

Voice of Producer: That's a nice touch. Okay, moving on.

Tom Brokaw: Okay. "Gerald Ford dead today, from an overdose of crack cocaine."

Voice of Producer: Good, good.. Next.

Tom Brokaw: Alright. [graphic of Gerald Ford and a commuter plane] "Stunning news from Michigan, as former President Gerald Ford was chopped into little bits by the propeller of a commuter plane."

Voice of Producer: Good. One take.

Tom Brokaw: Alright, we got it?

Voice of Producer: No. We've got "eaten by wolves".

Tom Brokaw: What? Now, come on!

Voice of Producer: Just read it!

Tom Brokaw: Gerald Ford isn't gonna be eaten by wolves!

Voice of Producer: Taft was.

Tom Brokaw: Really? Taft?

Voice of Producer: Uh.. yeah.

Tom Brokaw: Alright, alright.. [graphic of Ford surrounded by a pair of wolves] "Tragedy today, as former President Gerald Ford was eaten by wolves. He was delicious." Now.. now, that's just superfluous, you know?

Voice of Producer: It's a former President, Tom. What do you say - he's not delicious?

Tom Brokaw: Alright, fine.. what's next?

Voice of Producer: The double story.

Tom Brokaw: Alright. [graphic of Ford and map of France] "A fireball destroyed France today, and Gerald Ford is dead." Now, what are the odds of that?

Voice of Producer: Fine. We'll get Stone Phillips to do it. You know, I'm sure Stone Phillips would be thrilled to break a story like that!

Tom Brokaw: Alright. Let's keep moving.. [graphic of Ford and the corpse of Richard Nixon] "Stunning news from Yorba Linda today, as Richard Nixon's corpse climbed out of his grave and strangled Gerald For to death."

Voice of Producer: Excellent.

Tom Brokaw: Alright. [graphic of Ford and circus lion] "Gerald Ford was mauled senselessly by a circus lion in a convenience store."

Voice of Producer: Good. Next.

Tom Brokaw: Alright. "Gerald Ford is dead today, and I'm gay." Now, wait a minute!

Voice of Producer: What? That'd be a huge story - Ford dying, and you coming out!

Tom Brokaw: But I'm not gay!

Voice of Producer: Today you're not gay, you know.. but then one day you wake up, you like men, and Gerald Ford dies, and we're screwed. Everyone's hearing about it from Dan Rather!

Tom Brokaw: Alright, alright.. what's this for?

[graphic of Gerald Ford and the Zimbabwe flag appears]

Voice of Producer: Alright, this one's for if we're invaded by Zimbabwe.

Tom Brokaw: Would I still be the anchor if Zimbabwe invaded us?

Voice of Producer: Yeah.. if you break the Gerald Ford story, you will..

Tom Brokaw: Alright. "Hola bambe, hungala dimba Gerald Ford.. *click* *click* *click* *click* ..hola bambe, allah bumba bubba hulla humba hey."

Voice of Producer: Very nice. Very nice. A little sadder, please.

Tom Brokaw: Alright, alright.. [sadly] "Hola bambe, hungala dimba Gerald Ford.. *click* *click* ..hola bambe.."

OMG!!!!! Delaware's racinos are in trouble!!!!111oneone11!!

The News-Journal wakes from its slumber to report on interesting developments in the world of racino competition.

"Heads are spinning" in Pennsylvania as various racinos ramp up for business. Pennsylvania got smart and gave priority in slots licenses to facilities which already had thoroughbred racing.

And the N-J's Patrick Jackson reports that, at the same time, Delaware is already starting to "feel the squeeze" from nearby slots palaces. I can't imagine why. Perhaps it's because the Pennsylvania slots emporiums are run by recognized gaming companies which offer a true casino experience -- as opposed to the somewhat dingy atmosphere of Delaware Park, et al? (OK, forget the fact that Harrah's Chester is located right next to a state prison...)

The article also mentions that Bill Oberle is in favor of sports betting... but that he's incensed that Pennsylvania now allows free drinks at its racinos. Saith Oberle:

"I think a move like that is contradictory to everything that everyone's been trying to do in the interest of public safety. I'm very disappointed in the Pennsylvania Legislature and in Gov. Rendell for doing something like that. It's simply irresponsible from a public safety standpoint."

Waaah! Where's he been for the past 30 years? Atlantic City casinos have had free drinks since they started running. There's no epidemic of drunks on the roads there.

Delaware's approach to the slots issue is typical of this state's thinking. When you start with the proposition that machines which spit out money when the wheels or video display come up with the right combination aren't really slot machines but "Video Lottery Devices controlled by the Delaware Lottery" since slot machines are specifically prohibited by Delaware law, you've got a major philosophical issue that mere sports betting isn't going to fix.

The other issue that is weird in this equation is this: Why the fixation on linking horse racing to slots? Why is Delaware so interested in subsidizing an industry which is, at its core, based on cruelty and eugenics?

Around 800 racehorses die each year from fatal injuries suffered on US racetracks. An additional number of approximately 3,566 sustain injuries so bad that they cannot finish their races. Several breeding and horse handling abuses contribute to the great risk of death and injury that horses face.

Breeders often race horses as young as two. These horses lack fully developed bone structure, and are more likely to suffer injury.

Due to selective genetic pairing and breeding, many racehorses are born with fragile bodies to begin with. Selective breeding does not provide the gene pool with diverse enough genetic material to avoid genetic defects that arise largely as a result of inbreeding. Because jockeys race horses year round on hard tracks, which give less and are therefor harder on a horse’s joints and bones, horses incur greater injury risk. Large corporate breeders race their "investments" too often in pursuit of profit.

To keep horses racing through pain, handlers administer Lasix and Bute. These pain relievers numb pain, but do not treat the injuries that cause pain. Consequently, these injuries get worse. Horses that suffer severe injuries as a result of drug induced racing get sold to slaughterhouses, a more profitable venture for breeders than euthanization. These horses suffer long cramped rides to the slaughterhouse without painkillers, in unfit trailers. Handlers also use Lasix to mask the presence of illegal substances such as steroids. (link)

And if you think this doesn't happen in Delaware, think again. Most injured horses aren't as lucky as Barbaro. In fact, Barbaro was the exception; normally, a horse with an injury like his would have been euthanized at the track.

The Curse of the Crabs & DEGOP Photo Phun.

Celia Cohen's Delaware Grapevine ponders whether Vance Phillips' annual Crab Feast & Watermelon Extravaganza in Sussex County has become a political curse.

You be the judge:

George Allen in happier times, before Big Jim Webb started to get under his skin. The funny thing is, his pre-macaca appearance at the Curse of the Crabs looks a hell of a lot like "the" macaca appearance in Virginia:

Lordy. Welcome to Delaware, Georgie. Anyway, plunging further into the depths of the Crab Curse, we find these three doomed candidates waltzing on the deck of the Titanic:

Of course, we all know how this turned out. Santorum: Lost big. Man-on-dog big. Ting: Lost even bigger. Less than 30% of the vote? Ouchie! And then there's poor Ferris Wharton: Lost and shouldn't have.

While we're at it, the newly Copelandized DEGOP's website has some real sweet photos for fun-making. For instance, this essay of white Republicans with purple fingers showing "solidarity" with Iraqi voters is worth several chuckles. There's nothing like dipping your finger in food color to show your bravery. Although we're not so sure it was food coloring Ron Poliquin dipped his finger in:


Zang!

The Delaware Secrecy Fetish.

As a carpetbagger from outside Delaware, the one thing I have never been able to wrap my head around is the degree of secrecy and obufscation that surrounds Delaware state government -- and, to a lesser extent, county and municipal government. Records which would normally be available for easy public inspection online in many governments of similar size are virtually impossible to find; you can only receive them after submitting a FOIA request.

(And, until the Third Circuit Court of Appeals' recent ruling, only FOIA requests from Delaware residents would be honored by most agencies. Fortunately, the Court rejected the State's laughable justifications for the residency requirement, which included claiming that the restriction served the purpose of “defin[ing] the political community and strengthen[ing] the bond between citizens and their government officials" and that an out-of-state resident could just hire a Delaware resident to make the request on his or her behalf.)

"Ah," the usual State response is, "who cares about online availability? You can request them with FOIA!"

This reminds me of a passage from the novel The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. The novel's protagonist, Arthur Dent, wakes up one morning to find that his house is about to be demolished to make room for a highway bypass:

"I'm afraid you're going to have to accept it," said Mr Prosser, gripping his fur hat and rolling it round the top of his head, "this bypass has got to be built and it's going to be built!"

"First I've heard of it," said Arthur, "why's it going to be built?"

Mr Prosser shook his finger at him for a bit, then stopped and put it away again.

"What do you mean, why's it got to be built?" he said. "It's a bypass. You've got to build bypasses."

Mr Prosser shifted his weight from foot to foot, but it was equally uncomfortable on each. Obviously somebody had been appallingly incompetent and he hoped to God it wasn't him.

Mr Prosser said: "You were quite entitled to make any suggestions or protests at the appropriate time you know."

"Appropriate time?" hooted Arthur. "Appropriate time? The first I knew about it was when a workman arrived at my home yesterday. I asked him if he'd come to clean the windows and he said no he'd come to demolish the house. He didn't tell me straight away of course. Oh no. First he wiped a couple of windows and charged me a fiver. Then he told me."

"But Mr Dent, the plans have been available in the local planning office for the last nine month."

"Oh yes, well as soon as I heard I went straight round to see them, yesterday afternoon. You hadn't exactly gone out of your way to call attention to them had you? I mean like actually telling anybody or anything."

"But the plans were on display ..."

"On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them."

"That's the display department."

"With a torch."

"Ah, well the lights had probably gone."

"So had the stairs."

"But look, you found the notice, didn't you?"

"Yes," said Arthur, "yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying Beware of the Leopard."

And so we learned yesterday from the News-Journal that the state Division of Public Health, the agency tasked with conducting health inspections of restaurants and food establishments, makes it about as easy to find their inspection reports as it was for Arthur Dent to find those highway plans.

Delaware doesn't even have a mechanism to post restaurant inspection information on the premises. This is just plain silly. I used to live in a city with a population greater than Delaware's, whose health department had a very simple grading system for restaurants - A through F. Each year, the restaurant got a sticker with their grade which was posted right on the front door (approximately where Delaware's silly "STOP! THINK! A JAIL, FINE, OR BOTH!" anti-underage-drinking sticker would go) of the establishment. Also, inspection summaries were published in the paper. There was no secrecy, no hidden tricks, nothing like that.

But that's not The Delaware Way, it seems. And the restaurant industry has no problem with this, according to a spokesperson for the National Restaurant Association:

"It is sufficient that consumers can request individual reports from their local health departments, as they can in Delaware," said Christine Andrews, director of health and safety regulatory affairs for the national association. The only public notice should be of a restaurant's closing, she said. "An open restaurant is a restaurant that's safe to eat in," Andrews said.

That statement is so ridiculous it's not even funny. As one who has been accosted by food poisoning from three separate restaurants, I can tell you there is no connection between a restaurant being open and its safety.

But even more ridiculous is the justification given by the various State functionaries for the lack of availability of inspection information, according to the article. Too many requests for projects, not enough time, too complicated, etc. Bullshit. Posting inspection reports online is the easiest thing in the world. Scan the report to PDF (or distill it right to PDF from your word processor), upload it to your agency's web server, update a web page.

As for the grading process, according to the article, Delaware's inspection process is so Byzantine, with appeal after appeal, that it might be difficult to easily process an inspection report into a final rating -- at least as the system stands now.

Even so, the fact that the Division of Health has found so many ways to avoid making public health information available to the public speaks volumes about its priorities.

And even if the law were changed to require the Division of Health to make that information more readily accessible, that's no guarantee the system would change. On the same day, the N-J reported that many state agencies have failed in their legal duty to publish, on a central State website, notices, agendas, and minutes of their public meetings. At least this time, the State agencies were actually contrite for violating the law, although their excuses were about as credible as "the dog ate my homework": new secretary, oversight, programmer needs to take care of it, etc.

Secrecy extends to the judiciary as well. For example, we find, from the Delaware Supreme Court's website, that the Court entered an order enjoining accountant Ralph V. Estep from the unauthorized practice of law, but only a two-page order is posted -- not the actual opinion from the Board of the Unauthorized Practice of Law. Nothing is available on the UPL Board's website about this case, nor does anything appear on the Office of Disciplinary Counsel's Digest of Lawyer Discipline. Indeed, were it not for a post on Larry Sullivan's "Delaware Law Office" blog, we might not ever know that this came about because, according to Larry, Estep was '"representing" clients in the preparation of wills and the probate of estates."

Another area where transparency is sadly lacking is Delaware's Court on the Judiciary, which is tasked with handling complaints against judges. That Court has no website; in fact, the only place where one may find a reference to it is on the ODC's website, where the Court's address is given as a place to file such complaints (presumably, so ODC doesn't get misdirected complaints). While Court on the Judiciary opinions are posted -- well, one opinion in the past six years -- the public has no way of knowing whether or when the Court has opened a proceeding into judicial misconduct.

According to the American Judicature Society, Delaware is one of three jurisdictions -- the others being the District of Columbia and Hawai'i -- where confidentiality of judicial discipline proceedings ends only upon public discipline of the judge. The vast majority of jurisdictions make information public as soon as an investigation is over and formal charges are filed.

Does this mean that no active judicial misconduct cases are pending in Delaware? Of course, since no information is available, we have no way of knowing. Certainly, the powers that be here in Delaware are fond of telling everyone who will listen that we have a judiciary second to none, that we consistenly rank #1 in the U.S. Chamber of Commerce's polls, etc. And while that's all true, and we generally do have a great judiciary, might it not also be possible that the same powers that be are not excited about judicial investigations and discipline being made public or the very same reasons that our judiciary is touted? As any Delaware lawyer who appears in the courts will tell you, Delaware judges do not always exhibit good judicial temperament and demeanor, despite all the talk about the quality of our judges.

Delaware's obsession with secrecy has assumed the status of a fetish. See sense 2 of the word from the Oxford American Dictionary: "a course of action to which one has an excessive and irrational commitment." State government thrives on secrecy. And, apparently, so does the electorate. Even in this year of voter anger and the "clean sweep" movement, the slate of Republican Senate candidates who ran on the platform that they would open up the General Assembly to FOIA got their butts kicked -- one of them, John Feroce, losing to Jim Vaughn, who was so sick that he couldn't even campaign.

I do not claim to have the answer to this state's obsession with secrecy, but I do know that it is becoming very tiresome for people like me who fund the state machinery that is based on secrecy, obfuscation, and confidentiality.

Another bell tolls for Delaware's racinos?

Thanks to a recent bill signed by Gov. Ed Rendell (D-PA), Pennsylvania slot parlors will now be able to serve free drinks between 7:00 a.m. and 2:00 a.m..

Let's see. Given a choice between the run-down dump that is Delaware Park and a glitzy new Pennsylvania casino where one can drink for free most of the day, where is the serious slot player going to go?

Never mind the fact that Delaware's slot machines aren't really slot machines because same are specifically forbidden by Article II, Section 17 of the Delaware Constitution; they're actually "video lottery devices". And forget the fact that the legislative intent of such "video lottery devices" was not only to "produce the greatest income for the State" but also to "provide nonstate supported assistance in the form of increased economic activity and vitality for Delaware's harness and thoroughbred horse racing industries, which activity and vitality will enable the industry to improve its facilities and breeding stock, and cause increased employment."
If you put those legal fictions aside, the fact is that the General Assembly seems like it's in a perpetual fog when it comes to the issue of dealing with Delaware's "racinos". No one has the political will to admit that Delaware will be in huge trouble if the slots in Pennsylvania and Maryland become the regional attractions they promise to be. Who will want to schlep to Delaware when they can go to a brand-new Mohegan Tribe casino?

What are the solutions? Table games, sports betting, offtrack betting... you name it, someone has figured out a way to part gamblers from their money. Whatever the case may be, the General Assembly had better figure out a way real fast to make up that lost activity and vitality harness and thoroughbred horse racing industries, which activity and vitality will enable the industry to improve its facilities and breeding stock, and cause increased employment.... er, I mean, lost "income".

"MDLG08" Decoded.

First State Politics has has posted an email from Wilmington attorney Joe Rhoades soliciting money for Matt Denn's apparent campaign for Lieutenant Governor:

“All of you know that Matt Denn has been a tremendous supporter of DTLA’s members and their clients. It is now our turn to say “thanks” to Matt for all he has done. Matt is running for the Lt. Governor’s office and has an excellent chance of winning. However, to do so, he needs substantial contributions to show would-be opponents that he is clearly “the candidate”. For that reason, I am asking all of you to contribute to Matt’s campaign by the end of the year so that Matt can distinguish himself as the front runner. You can contribute up to $1200 and I would hope that you make a maximum contribution. Wouldn’t it be great to have someone Like Matt as our Lt. Governor and then our Governor? Please help me make this happen. Thanks. Joe Rhoades”

This is a rather interesting message. Rhoades apparently knows what he's talking about; he has donated to high-profile Democratic candidates as well as the ATLA (American Trial Lawyers Association) PAC. But to my knowledge thus far, Denn has not officially announced. Rather, he passed out silly-looking stickers at Return Day suggesting he was going to run for Lieutenant Governor -- but everyone does that, don't they? And when interviewed by WDEL at Return Day, Denn only said he was "seriously thinking about" running.

Second, Denn hasn't even completed his first term as Insurance Commissioner. In fact, he hasn't even been in office for a full two years. To be sure, he's had some interesting initiatives during that time -- the most recent being a website where Delaware consumers can compare auto insurance rates. Unfortunately, as is all too common with politicians, it appears that Denn is less interested in doing a great job as Insurance Commissioner than in moving up the political food chain.

And that's the a real shame of all of this. The previous occupant of that office, Donna Lee Williams, was famous for her unwillingness to do much of anything other than occupy space. There's no denying that Denn has done more as Insurance Commissioner in less than two years than Williams did throughout her entire career, except maybe the distinction of being Insurance Commissioner when the Delaware Insurance Fraud Bureau was itself investigated for fraud and misconduct. But once again, it looks like Matt Denn, in the long run, is going to be just another career politician following the true "Delaware Way" -- moving from political office to political office ad infinitum.